actualisation epitaph

"the pursuit of erotic self-destruction. if you claim not to understand it, then you're writing a story for children".
- me

i still dream of orgonon

i'm an exercise in casual mythmaking

i'm high-concept and low-fidelity

i have a fear of falling

i have been to places you could only dream of

i was cursed by a witch

i have a community but it's not Community

i am not Sustainable

i want to be allowed to Love

i'm a new baby

i wanted to write a full essay for all of these things

i forgive her

i'm going to be big enough to hold the world

i'll draw an infinity on my breast

i am a warm glow

i'll lose my voice in the vacuum of space

i'll sing a song for the planets

i've got too much love stored in me

i've got a pain you'll never know

i'm one of many

i think anything could grow here

i'm not a zero sum game

i don't believe in common sense

i was only ever human by technicality

i'm only half

i'm gooby

I am a kaleidoscope

An endless symmetry

I am a refraction of a central point that never existed

I spiral outwards from the core 

Carrying the overwhelming comfort of a nose that is a nose

In unexistence I see God

Inside myself I see divinity

I am a kaleidoscope

My skin displays patterns within patterns

My mind belays the function containing itself

My chest explodes outwards like a firework

I look out to the trees for evidence of stray sparks

No embers in the daytime

I am a zoetrope

Smooth in motion

Atomic and connected

A parlor trick

My neighbours fuck me at speed

Children don't know what they're watching

I'd explain but I need a moment

I am a kaleidoscope

Roll me

Watch the colours churn

i will update my manifesto in my own time